HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
