Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
