also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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