So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
