So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
