The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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