I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
