The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
