Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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