and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
