I want to stick my p in your. b.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
