Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
