But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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