God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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