Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
