i need an iv and a liver transplant
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
