We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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