butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
