So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
