Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
