I'm gonna have a badass scar
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
