Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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