we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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