i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i now understand why vodka
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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