tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
