I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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