im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
