I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I could fuck to npr.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
