so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
