i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
