I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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