just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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