i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
