Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
cat food counts as protein by the way
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
