just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
