what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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