he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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