Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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