hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
