that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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