After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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