I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
