You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
