I never want to see another naked old woman again.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize
