I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
