I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
