Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry 4N0NYM0US_CHR1S hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(586): View more from Michigan

the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable

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(44): View more from England

What's everyones problem with my costume?!

(1-44): View more from England

It looks like a unicorn came on your face.

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(616): View more from Michigan

you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me

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(416): View more from Toronto

sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.

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(312): View more from Illinois

please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children

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(707): View more from California

We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.

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(407): View more from Florida

And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.

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(253): View more from Washington

Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!

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