you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
