P.S. I can't hear my feet
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
