I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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