well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
