Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
God, I missed his penis.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
