im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
