Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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