some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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